Change is in the Wind...

.....And not just for the country!

Ive been officially cut at work and I'm desperately trying to find a job. In this economy, not so easy.
I did have a bright spot in my search yesterday. Id recently been in touch with an old high school friend through Facebook and remarkably on the very day I got this terrifying news, she emailed me asking for my resume.
I went to interview yesterday and I think they liked me, the only issue is that the pay sucks. I mean REALLY sucks. Id be taking a huge pay cut to go with them, but the company itself is really cool.
I'm kind of torn. I feel like I might be able to talk my current boss into letting me come in after hours to do his paperwork and hopefully that would make up for the loss at the new job. On the other hand, I really hate the thought of working 60 hours a week.
I know I should be grateful for any opportunity that's out there right now, and I really am. I just wish it wasn't like this.
Frankly after the news of my hours being cut again I really hope to find a position that will take care of my needs and I'll be able to tell boss man to go F%^! himself.
I'm pissed at being put in this position, and I really would love to walk away and know that hes going to be screwed without me in the office. At least for a while.
Ive been here for 8 years and the whole place runs the way Ive set it up to run. Hell the boss man hardly even knows what is in his bank account most of the time.Hes got no clue what bills are due when, or how to use the tracking system I created, or how to do the end of the month reports or what things to get together for our insurance audits...I could go on.
I'm not saying an 18 year old college kid that needs a part time job couldn't come in here and do it for 10$ an hour, but it will take time to make it all work out.

So we'll see. I mean I might not even get offered the job. I have another possible interview out on the horizon at the Ga. State Bar as a receptionist. The job has growth potential and pays better than this other one to begin with. And I'm sure its got great benefits being a state job. Draw back is I feel like I'll be walking into a hum drum world of lawyers and people bitching about lawyers and nothing creative at all.
I feel like the low paying job is a creative place that maybe if I work very hard I might be able to move into a different, higher paying job at the company. Although just how long it would take me to get back to a decent level of living I have no idea. They gave me the impression yesterday that there was no real way to tell if that position would go anywhere.

UUUGHHH!! I wish there was just an easy answer.

Change is hard for me. Work place changes are the worst. I did feel very comfortable in this place yesterday and I wish like hell that they just paid better. I don't know what to do. I guess I shouldn't put the cart before the horse. They might not even offer me the job after all.

*sigh* is this the best its going to be for me? Is this all there is?
If so it really doesn't leave me with a very bright outlook on life that's for sure.

I will be thankful for what I have and shut up now.

New Year

I think this marks the second new year that I have been purging on this blog, and not a whole lot has changed.
Looking at the good and the bad, Ive made some new friends this past year, lost some old ones and gotten reacquainted with some as well.
I'm still single, still overweight, and still struggling financially.

I also still have a wonderful family and great friends and I'm very very blessed.

I don't know what this year has in store for me but I hope its a good one. This year I will turn 39 and I really want to make a significant dent in weight loss by 40 so I have about a year and a half to get my act together and do it. I don't want to be fat and 40. Chubby is fine, but I'm WAY beyond chubby right now and I'm not happy about it. Its so hard to make myself get up at 5AM to exercise. That's been the hardest thing to keep up. In November I was doing really well, and December I fell off the cliff, and I haven't really managed to get back up again, BUT I haven't gained anything back so at least that's something.

Sometimes I think I'm so used to my body the way it is that changing it seems completely foreign. Like maybe this is just how I'm supposed to be. Why would it be so hard to change and maintain it otherwise?

Also, I was having a chat with the man upstairs the other day about relationships and my lack of having one...ever....and I recalled that for years I have off and on been praying to not have the need in my mind to be with someone if its never going to happen.
Now I don't know if its the result of living alone and being single for so long or what, but I realized that I AM happy alone, and I'm not sure that "need" is a way Id describe my desire for companionship at all anymore, so I might have had that prayer answered after all.

Regardless of having a mate or not, I still want to feel better about my body, period, and it would be nice to think that a little human contact is not totally off the radar forever. Being thinner definitely helps that cause.

So I will keep plugging away and let life happen as it will.


Along with the wonderful gift of my family and friends I'm happy and grateful to have a job in this economy. I'm happy and grateful to be basically healthy and happy with my life. So I guess I cant complain.

:)

Happy New year and lets get to work.