New Year

I think this marks the second new year that I have been purging on this blog, and not a whole lot has changed.
Looking at the good and the bad, Ive made some new friends this past year, lost some old ones and gotten reacquainted with some as well.
I'm still single, still overweight, and still struggling financially.

I also still have a wonderful family and great friends and I'm very very blessed.

I don't know what this year has in store for me but I hope its a good one. This year I will turn 39 and I really want to make a significant dent in weight loss by 40 so I have about a year and a half to get my act together and do it. I don't want to be fat and 40. Chubby is fine, but I'm WAY beyond chubby right now and I'm not happy about it. Its so hard to make myself get up at 5AM to exercise. That's been the hardest thing to keep up. In November I was doing really well, and December I fell off the cliff, and I haven't really managed to get back up again, BUT I haven't gained anything back so at least that's something.

Sometimes I think I'm so used to my body the way it is that changing it seems completely foreign. Like maybe this is just how I'm supposed to be. Why would it be so hard to change and maintain it otherwise?

Also, I was having a chat with the man upstairs the other day about relationships and my lack of having one...ever....and I recalled that for years I have off and on been praying to not have the need in my mind to be with someone if its never going to happen.
Now I don't know if its the result of living alone and being single for so long or what, but I realized that I AM happy alone, and I'm not sure that "need" is a way Id describe my desire for companionship at all anymore, so I might have had that prayer answered after all.

Regardless of having a mate or not, I still want to feel better about my body, period, and it would be nice to think that a little human contact is not totally off the radar forever. Being thinner definitely helps that cause.

So I will keep plugging away and let life happen as it will.


Along with the wonderful gift of my family and friends I'm happy and grateful to have a job in this economy. I'm happy and grateful to be basically healthy and happy with my life. So I guess I cant complain.

:)

Happy New year and lets get to work.