Itch.....

I have the itch to be bad. I'm going to ride it out though. I mean its BAD too! Why on earth would I want to do something to disrupt my perfect week when Friday is literally a few hours away?
Who knows.
All I know is I'm having to pray for strength not to go out. Its like sometimes someone else is driving the bus and I'm simply a passenger.

This, of course, is ridiculous. I am in control of everything I do. High time I admit that and stop blaming the invisible bus driver with the horns poking out of his hat!!

I will go home. I will be good. I will get up tomorrow and work out like I have been doing, and I will be so grateful for my strength tomorrow when Ive done it!!

302

The Switch

So I guess my cabinets contained a lot more things in them that are bad for me than I realized, because in my quest to purge I actually ended up gaining 11 lbs in about a week and a half. I think my head said, OK just eat whatever you want, and with me, if I have the TINIEST amount of overindulgence I gain weight..FAST!
That's all over now....well mostly. I had a moment last week where on Tuesday night I decided, and prayed very hard, to get up the next morning and work out, and also to go back on Weight Watchers.
So I did, and I successfully worked out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday last week. I also did just fine on my eating (until Friday night) and between Monday, (actually really Wednesday) and Friday lost the 11 lbs. Id gained back.

Friday came and I got the itch to eat badly, so I did. I worked out Saturday and didn't eat so bad then, but Sunday I really blew it out of the ball park! I also didn't work out Sunday or Monday so on my Tuesday weigh in ( I weigh almost every day) Id again gained 6 lbs back from Saturdays lowest weight.

It really is crazy that I can lose and gain...gain especially...so fast. Today's weigh in revealed that I have dropped 2 lbs from yesterday, and hopefully by Friday I'll be back down to what I was last Friday.
That being said, in order to break this barrier I am going to have to really bust my brain to be strong over the weekend and NOT go crazy on the drinking or the eating. I hate that I make this great effort all week long only to bust it up in a 2 1/2 day period.

So I'm proud of myself for doing what I'm doing with the working out and the eating during the week, but Ive got to get through a weekend OK. Its a MUST.
I'm praying that I'm strong enough to do it, because I know its a key to success.

I have learned..or re-learned..that I'm very much all or nothing. I thought I could have a little of this or that over the weekend and discovered that I went totally overboard.

I will not be negative though, because I really think that my mind is right with this. I really think I'm ready to make a serious life change. Even if its just the working out and the healthy eating during the week right now, its a step.

Seriously, getting up at 5:00 AM to work out is HUGE for me!
That being said, I realized that as of this week this will be the first time I can remember in years that I have gone 2 weeks ( during the week) without cheating myself.
I know I'm going to make it to Saturday again working out. I just know it. This is a barrier for me that I will have broken as of Saturday as soon as I step off that treadmill. I'm not even scared that I cant or wont do it because I just feel THERE.

So despite the fact that I WAY overindulged last weekend, and might fall off that wagon again this weekend, just the consistent working out for 2 weeks is such a huge step for me that I'm going to let myself be happy about it.

I'm giving myself credit and hoping that the switch has finally been flipped.

Guess Whos Coming to Dinner?

Last night I had the opportunity to witness history..along with the rest of the world. A black man is going to be our next president. I was a little pissy about the whole thing yesterday before the results started coming in.
Not because hes black, but because I was so unsure about BOTH candidates.
I frankly still am, and who ever was going to win I knew would have to do a lot of work in the next 4 years to prove to the world they were the right choice.

So I went out last night to out local hang out and among a crowd that might just as well have been out on New Years Eve, saw the world welcome Obama as our president. Not just the US..the WORLD.
I actually got choked up thinking about what his being where he is means to just the black population of the US, not to mention the overwhelming support of the world. It was remarkable.

So I'm going to lay off my bitterness and just pray that he will be able to do the right things for this country that we so badly need, and be happy that we've come so far as a nation that he can be, and is, where he is today.

The Future Looks Grim

Well, today the future is upon us. Not only will we be electing a new president but for the first time in history we will either have a female vice president, or a black president.
Who did I vote for?
I cant say.
To be honest I didn't like things about both parties. I am a little afraid of things on both sides of the coin.
I'm also afraid, even though I feel certain Obama will win, that if he doesn't, the black community where I live will lose their minds and we will become like South Central LA did when they had their riots for Rodney King.
Id be right in the middle too. Well, not really, but bad enough that Id be scared.
Why do I think that that same situation wont happen in Cobb County if McCain doesn't win? Well Ive never seen a bunch of middle to upper class citizens of any race or color start trashing their own neighborhood in protest of something that didn't go their way. I cant say as much for some of the classes of people that occupy a large amount of Atlanta and the surrounding community.

I understand that this is a very passionate election for all involved. I understand that all over the country people on both sides of the coin are voting for one guy or another based solely on their race. Those are the ones that scare me the most. Those are the ones that will be the most upset.

Me, well, I'm already upset because the person I wanted to be in the White House this year didn't make it. She would have been a great president I think, and the Obama worshiping cult like thing that's happened wouldn't be an issue.

Whoever gets in the big chair I hope they are prepared to face a lot of BIG problems, because if or when they cant deliver all their lofty promises to their people theres going to be be unrest.

I think some people have this vision of Obama bringing the world together. I think that the exact opposite is going to happen. Not of his doing, but of his "followers".
On the other hand, from the moment hes elected on I guess no one can ever say that "minorities" are not equal in this country, because black man will be sitting in one of the most honored seats in the world. So maybe in that way it will shut some whiny people up, but I'm betting it wont.
People who want to whine and complain are going to do it regardless of who's up there in Washington. If McCain gets elected my bet is that a large Obama group will claim racism and unfair voting practices. The NAACP has already started in with a lawsuit claiming that Virginia doesn't have enough voting machines for the rural black communities and that they wont be able to vote blah blah blah.

On the other hand, McCain is suing as of last night to try and extend the vote count for our man and women over in Iraq claiming that their ballots are going to be late and that we should wait until November 14th for an official count.

Maybe they both have a point.

Geesh the more I go on the more it just seems like its going to be a total mess no matter what happens.
Anyone for moving to Canada? Kidding. I love this country.

Actually I cant move anyway...as I believe Ive mentioned before.....because I cant sell my house....because the economy is so bad....and because no one wants to buy a house in the ghetto.

OK, on a brighter note, America is a great country and I will support who ever gets in office because that's my duty as a citizen of this country.
Play nice nice and watch helplessly as one or the other boobs running for president screws up this wonderful place even more.

Have a nice day America.