In my life it always seems like when something is going particularly well something has to throw a wrench into it.
As of the end of this month I will have been steadily doing the morning treadmill for 3 solid months. 4 to 5 days a week. Pretty great I think. 2 weeks ago I added weights to the party. Every other day I do upper and then lower body weight training. Ever better I say!
That was until yesterday, when my treadmill belt started to slip. I mean REALLY badly.
I mean really?!! Oh no you DIDN'T!!!
After havering it all these years NOW it decides to crap out on me?
OK ok...don't panic....so I go on line and look up replacement belts.
Just so happens that the one I have costs $350..Yes that's right folks. And I only paid $150 for the whole damn machine to begin with!!
After some serious swearing and a few urges to spit, I manage to find what I HOPE will be a suitable replacement, even though its not exactly what is on there now.
$80, OK that I can handle.
Need the instructions separately..OK, I'm sure I can find those on line...
looking..looking....AH HA!
So it seems maybe I can tighten the belt after all. No replacement needed. (maybe).
Tools needed: Allen wrench...2 regular clamp wrenches. Ummm nope, don't have either.
This would have been when I would have gone into the shop at my old job and foraged for what I needed. I forget that my endless supply of tools and repair crap is now gone!
Ace hardware down the street from work...get wrenches (wenches), check.
So now I'm good to go. (maybe)
All I know is, if I get home today and start monkeying around with this thing and make it worse, I'm going to want to break something in half.
Glass half full: it will be fixed as of today.
We'll see.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Tired
I’m tired.
My Dog is sick and I’ve been missing out on a good deal of sleep recently. Besides the general worry, she has a terrible racking cough that keeps her and me up all night.
There’s nothing I can do about it either. She’s old and her heart is just giving out.
She’s made it to 19 years old and I’m thinking she won't see 20. I miss her already. I think when she finally goes I’m going to realize just how alone I really am.
It’s funny how an animal can provide you with such complete companionship without doing anything but being there. My house will be too quiet and my heart will be empty.
Everyone thinks I will get another dog, but I’m not so sure.
When I got Scruffy it wasn’t because I was looking to have a pet. I’d been without pets for a few years and frankly was liking the freedom it allowed me.
But she was different. Coming from another home at age 11 she was known to me from “Scruffy Sitting” a few years before that. The couple she belonged to were named Roman and Chad. They themselves had been together since she was a puppy and she had traveled with them wherever they went, which apparently was quite a few places!
The first time I ever set eyes on her I fell in love! I remember it was a dinner party at their house, and I had sort of invited myself. I came in the door and she was in mid run around the kitchen chasing, and being chased by their other dog Chester. She was a tiny ball of fire and I adored her immediately!
From that time on, when ever Roman and Chad would go out of town I would volunteer to watch her. I never imagined a few years later she would be mine, but she was.
They broke up and she needed a home so I jumped at the chance. I didn’t want a dog, I wanted Scruffy.
Since that time I have adored and doted on her for 8 years, and although I didn’t own her from birth I feel like I have always been her mamma!
She’s a stinky old rotten spoiled little mess of a dog and I think I’m going to break in half when she dies.
No. I won’t want another dog. You can’t replace something like this.
I hope when it comes for her it will be peaceful and at home. I hope I’m there to comfort her and make sure she feels safe. I hope one day I’ll see her in heaven. And I hope most of all that none of this will happen for a long time, but I know better.
So I’m tired, and I miss her already.
My Dog is sick and I’ve been missing out on a good deal of sleep recently. Besides the general worry, she has a terrible racking cough that keeps her and me up all night.
There’s nothing I can do about it either. She’s old and her heart is just giving out.
She’s made it to 19 years old and I’m thinking she won't see 20. I miss her already. I think when she finally goes I’m going to realize just how alone I really am.
It’s funny how an animal can provide you with such complete companionship without doing anything but being there. My house will be too quiet and my heart will be empty.
Everyone thinks I will get another dog, but I’m not so sure.
When I got Scruffy it wasn’t because I was looking to have a pet. I’d been without pets for a few years and frankly was liking the freedom it allowed me.
But she was different. Coming from another home at age 11 she was known to me from “Scruffy Sitting” a few years before that. The couple she belonged to were named Roman and Chad. They themselves had been together since she was a puppy and she had traveled with them wherever they went, which apparently was quite a few places!
The first time I ever set eyes on her I fell in love! I remember it was a dinner party at their house, and I had sort of invited myself. I came in the door and she was in mid run around the kitchen chasing, and being chased by their other dog Chester. She was a tiny ball of fire and I adored her immediately!
From that time on, when ever Roman and Chad would go out of town I would volunteer to watch her. I never imagined a few years later she would be mine, but she was.
They broke up and she needed a home so I jumped at the chance. I didn’t want a dog, I wanted Scruffy.
Since that time I have adored and doted on her for 8 years, and although I didn’t own her from birth I feel like I have always been her mamma!
She’s a stinky old rotten spoiled little mess of a dog and I think I’m going to break in half when she dies.
No. I won’t want another dog. You can’t replace something like this.
I hope when it comes for her it will be peaceful and at home. I hope I’m there to comfort her and make sure she feels safe. I hope one day I’ll see her in heaven. And I hope most of all that none of this will happen for a long time, but I know better.
So I’m tired, and I miss her already.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
39 and Counting
So I'm here. My last year in my 30s. Actually Ive been here for 5 days now so officially I have 300 days left in my 30s.
This is not an easy one for me for some reason. The actual birthday weekend was good though. Crazy, but good.
Sometimes the unexpected surprise in life can turn your head in a direction that you weren't expecting.
This happened to be the case with me on Friday night, my actual birthday night, when out celebrating I came upon a situation that I was certainly NOT expecting.
I will call him D, and I'm pretty sure Ive mentioned him before in this series of tales, but if not, quick background.
Known him for I think going on 10 years now, but not very well until the last few years, and still not as well as his "real" friends know him.
Works in the city as a bartender and is one of the nicest people Ive ever met.
Had a serious crush on him for about 3 years now.
So after a lovely dinner with a great group of friends, I decided to go out for a night cap and ran into D.
Details aside, it ended up being an experience I thought Id never have, and now that Ive had it, I'm left with mixed feelings.
I think my problem is I let myself believe that because this one was soo different, ( nice, sweet, loving) that what was happening was coming from him really liking me. Not from the usual place of hey, were drunk and here, lets go at it.
I was of course, wrong.
SO I spend the remainder of my wild weekend pondering what it is that makes me so unlikeable, beyond the fat.
Maybe it is just the fat, and maybe not.
In any case, Ive upped my exercise and I'm going to work on the food next.
Baby steps for me please, but not so small that I'm still in this position next year when the big 40 is upon me.
I need change.
Its happened a good deal already just from having the new job. Also, I'm going on 3 solid months of consistent exercise in the morning before work.
Last Friday I decided to add 30 minutes of weights to my routine, and today I got up and did it and felt great about it.
Is it like before? The drive I had years ago that pushed me into not eating and working out like a maniac?
No. But its something. Its more than Ive done for myself I years and I'm proud of it.
Is this change because of D?
No. I had this going before the birthday incident, and will not let what he does or thinks about me effect it either way.
Will I be able to keep this up and really make a change?
Yes. I really think I will. Its starting to feel like a normal thing to get up at 4:00 in the morning and work out.
So whats left?
Right now 2 big things are in my way of making any progress. The food I'm eating and the booze I'm drinking.
During the week I'm pretty good with the food part and no booze at all. On the weekends however, its a whole different ball game.
Baby steps. Get the exercise down then chip away at the diet.
This is for life after all, but the thing is while I'm happy with my personal progress its not showing on my body and I feel like I'm losing out again.
Like what if in the last 3 months Id been working on the food too and lost 20 lbs. What would D have done then?
Would that change anything anyway?
One thing I'm sure I wont know. Not from him anyway.
I don't regret what happened, and I'm glad I can feel OK with him and he with me, but the emptiness that I felt had filled up for those moments is empty yet again, and no amount of food will fill that one up.
Happy Birthday to me.
This is not an easy one for me for some reason. The actual birthday weekend was good though. Crazy, but good.
Sometimes the unexpected surprise in life can turn your head in a direction that you weren't expecting.
This happened to be the case with me on Friday night, my actual birthday night, when out celebrating I came upon a situation that I was certainly NOT expecting.
I will call him D, and I'm pretty sure Ive mentioned him before in this series of tales, but if not, quick background.
Known him for I think going on 10 years now, but not very well until the last few years, and still not as well as his "real" friends know him.
Works in the city as a bartender and is one of the nicest people Ive ever met.
Had a serious crush on him for about 3 years now.
So after a lovely dinner with a great group of friends, I decided to go out for a night cap and ran into D.
Details aside, it ended up being an experience I thought Id never have, and now that Ive had it, I'm left with mixed feelings.
I think my problem is I let myself believe that because this one was soo different, ( nice, sweet, loving) that what was happening was coming from him really liking me. Not from the usual place of hey, were drunk and here, lets go at it.
I was of course, wrong.
SO I spend the remainder of my wild weekend pondering what it is that makes me so unlikeable, beyond the fat.
Maybe it is just the fat, and maybe not.
In any case, Ive upped my exercise and I'm going to work on the food next.
Baby steps for me please, but not so small that I'm still in this position next year when the big 40 is upon me.
I need change.
Its happened a good deal already just from having the new job. Also, I'm going on 3 solid months of consistent exercise in the morning before work.
Last Friday I decided to add 30 minutes of weights to my routine, and today I got up and did it and felt great about it.
Is it like before? The drive I had years ago that pushed me into not eating and working out like a maniac?
No. But its something. Its more than Ive done for myself I years and I'm proud of it.
Is this change because of D?
No. I had this going before the birthday incident, and will not let what he does or thinks about me effect it either way.
Will I be able to keep this up and really make a change?
Yes. I really think I will. Its starting to feel like a normal thing to get up at 4:00 in the morning and work out.
So whats left?
Right now 2 big things are in my way of making any progress. The food I'm eating and the booze I'm drinking.
During the week I'm pretty good with the food part and no booze at all. On the weekends however, its a whole different ball game.
Baby steps. Get the exercise down then chip away at the diet.
This is for life after all, but the thing is while I'm happy with my personal progress its not showing on my body and I feel like I'm losing out again.
Like what if in the last 3 months Id been working on the food too and lost 20 lbs. What would D have done then?
Would that change anything anyway?
One thing I'm sure I wont know. Not from him anyway.
I don't regret what happened, and I'm glad I can feel OK with him and he with me, but the emptiness that I felt had filled up for those moments is empty yet again, and no amount of food will fill that one up.
Happy Birthday to me.
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