The Switch

So I guess my cabinets contained a lot more things in them that are bad for me than I realized, because in my quest to purge I actually ended up gaining 11 lbs in about a week and a half. I think my head said, OK just eat whatever you want, and with me, if I have the TINIEST amount of overindulgence I gain weight..FAST!
That's all over now....well mostly. I had a moment last week where on Tuesday night I decided, and prayed very hard, to get up the next morning and work out, and also to go back on Weight Watchers.
So I did, and I successfully worked out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday last week. I also did just fine on my eating (until Friday night) and between Monday, (actually really Wednesday) and Friday lost the 11 lbs. Id gained back.

Friday came and I got the itch to eat badly, so I did. I worked out Saturday and didn't eat so bad then, but Sunday I really blew it out of the ball park! I also didn't work out Sunday or Monday so on my Tuesday weigh in ( I weigh almost every day) Id again gained 6 lbs back from Saturdays lowest weight.

It really is crazy that I can lose and gain...gain especially...so fast. Today's weigh in revealed that I have dropped 2 lbs from yesterday, and hopefully by Friday I'll be back down to what I was last Friday.
That being said, in order to break this barrier I am going to have to really bust my brain to be strong over the weekend and NOT go crazy on the drinking or the eating. I hate that I make this great effort all week long only to bust it up in a 2 1/2 day period.

So I'm proud of myself for doing what I'm doing with the working out and the eating during the week, but Ive got to get through a weekend OK. Its a MUST.
I'm praying that I'm strong enough to do it, because I know its a key to success.

I have learned..or re-learned..that I'm very much all or nothing. I thought I could have a little of this or that over the weekend and discovered that I went totally overboard.

I will not be negative though, because I really think that my mind is right with this. I really think I'm ready to make a serious life change. Even if its just the working out and the healthy eating during the week right now, its a step.

Seriously, getting up at 5:00 AM to work out is HUGE for me!
That being said, I realized that as of this week this will be the first time I can remember in years that I have gone 2 weeks ( during the week) without cheating myself.
I know I'm going to make it to Saturday again working out. I just know it. This is a barrier for me that I will have broken as of Saturday as soon as I step off that treadmill. I'm not even scared that I cant or wont do it because I just feel THERE.

So despite the fact that I WAY overindulged last weekend, and might fall off that wagon again this weekend, just the consistent working out for 2 weeks is such a huge step for me that I'm going to let myself be happy about it.

I'm giving myself credit and hoping that the switch has finally been flipped.