SMUCK IT!

Well, so far 2010 is a total bust.
I got sick. REALLY sick for the first 2 weeks of the month. Missed a week and a half of work, and didn't work out.
After being sort of slack in December on the working out, capping it off with missing 2 solid weeks, Ive now regressed to where I was a year ago before I ever started working out again.
Part of the problem is that I'm miserable.
I don't want to get up.
I don't want to go to work.
And even though I know that exercising will make at least part of my day in hell better I have been choosing to "sleep in", ( if you can call waking up at 5:30 sleeping in).
Last week I managed to work out Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but only did a full work out on Friday. The other 2 days were just treadmill and a few reps on the bench press.
I was determined to get back a full week this week but today, the alarm went off at 4:15, and I just couldn't make myself do it.
The super sad thing is that when I reset the alarm for an hour later I thought to myself, I'm not going to be any different by the time I turn 40....I'm going to be laying here this time next year in the same body, thinking the same miserable thoughts, living the same miserable life....
What a shitty way to think.

I have been trying to eat better, and been cooking really healthy, but haven't bothered to write any of it down thus far.

Another dream put on the back burner.

Meanwhile my job just keeps getting worse and worse.
Every day I screw up. I come in tired and wan feeling and I leave angry and frustrated.
Its no way to live.

I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm at the end of my very frayed rope.

That's all I got for now.