Monday Funday!

 Well the weekend actually turned a corner and ended up being really good. 

After what I would call a very confusing and rocky start R and I finally connected Saturday night and as of right now things are good. I guess that's the way it goes. Ups and downs. I do feel like the core issues we have are never REALLY addressed, but we seem to work around them each time they rear up. 

Is this because neither of us wants to start over again with someone else? Or is it because we do really love each other and want to work things out no matter the cost? I really don't know at this point, but I'm willing to keep on trying - DOING- whatever, Yoda!!! The one thing that's making this harder is that I'm trying so hard to be positive, but R can suck the positive right out of the room. No on purpose, he just fills his mind with politics, news and other very negative things then wants to share them. I don't think he realizes just how much I HAVE to be away from all of that for a while. That was part of the issues over the weekend, which I eventually just chose to ignore rather than respond to. Its work, but its working.

Moving on- Today we get 2 very special visitors! Anne and Vic are coming up from Decatur! It sounds like they live in a different state and the way things have been they might as well be because she's been here since the beginning of November and Vic got here after Thanksgiving and I've only seen her the one time. Not her fault or mine, just the way its been, plus add in my injury and the fact that I'm not supposed to be driving and there you have it. So today will be a special Monday Funday!!!

Anne is really one of my favorite people on earth. I know I've written about her over the years and how inspiring she can be, but its worth saying again. She got here and took ATL by the horns getting a job ASAP and has been working towards her goals already. I thought she would at least take a breath but that's not her style, which as usual, is very inspiring!

I'm focusing on the positive so I will give myself credit for taking the FAA UPE practice test last week and getting a decent score. At least I know the areas I need to study more. 

I had one person - ONLY one - from my former group of clients contact me about work this year, and of course I had to say no because of my elbows. What was strange was that when I told him what had happened in the email, he didn't respond at all. No "wow I'm so sorry that happened" or anything. I wasn't looking for sympathy, its more that I feel like pretty much all of my old clients have moved on to other photographers. 

My whole plan was to go to new places up here in December, although I still don't have any cards to even leave or any promotional material. God I have a lot of work to do. 

I want to be more like Anne in the way she just DOES it. No fear, no hesitation. The reason (or at least the one I tell myself) that I have never gone to new real estate offices up here yet is because I wanted to have new services to offer, like the video and drone stuff. I haven't made progress in those areas so instead of getting some work I got no work. Perhaps the elbows is a blessing in disguise. Making me reevaluate the things I need to do and get to work on them. That and Iden passing. 

As I type this the negative thoughts are creeping in. That all too familiar voice telling me that I've wasted a whole year, that no one is going to want my services since I don't offer those other things. 

Its really hard to shake that demon in my head. Its gotten quite comfortable up there, but I'm cleaning house. Fear is my enemy, and today I am choosing NOT to fear. My demon is telling me that I need to be worried about the interaction between R and my friends coming up. I'm telling it to shut up, and that it will be fine. I hate that I feel like I have to worry about that with R and other people. I need to have more faith in him. I know he's been trying for a long time to get better with social situations, and my hope is that he and Vic really bond. 

Anyway, I'm off to get on the bike again. I did 6 days last week and going for the same this week. 

Another 1%!!