Angels and Devils

I think Ive figured out something. The second I start to mentally deny myself a thing I want it that much more.

Its all about that little Devil Monster in my body...( you know, the one with the cocktails and Twinkies?) ..hes always right there to poke me in the chubb and remind me how great I feel so having a beer, or a piece of fried chicken....(or a bucket of chicken and a 12 pack of beer...*drool*) ...is just fine.

Apparently I don't have a moderation button.

Watch your portions? *Pfffft!*

Sure, I'll watch myself measure out a portion...then 2...then 3.

The Devil Monster that lives in my bottomless pit of a belly is a greedy SOB..oh my yes....
Hes a drunkard and a carb junkie. He squeezes my stomach walls making them growl and pokes at me from the inside when I turn down that creamy cheesecake.

Hes a crabby bastard. He is the Devil!!

Aren't we all supposed to have an Angel as well as a Devil inside? I'm thinking at this point my angel is in solitary confinement being tortured by above mentioned Devil Monster.
Shes not allowed to speak up because when she does...*POKE!*...and lets face it being poked ain't all that fun....( well some kinds of poking are good..but I digress..)

This brings me to another thought. Is it very important that you feel supported by your friends and family to accomplish your goals? Or do you need to find your own support ( aka Angel inside) that will kick your Devil Monsters squishy butt out of the way of progress!

I refer to my conversation last night with my sister. I informed her of my plan to stop drinking until St Patties Day and her first response was.."' ummm okay??" like what I had proposed was a bad thing!
I have a theory behind why she always reacts this way when I bring up a new improved plan to better myself.

I love my sister to death but I really think she likes me being in a place where I make HER life happy. In other words, unattached, and available for cocktail hour and or junk food fest whenever she can get away from her annoying husband that even she is growing to not be able to stand.
My sister is a very VERY routine person. Everything she does has a pattern to it.
I guess I'm that way in a sense that breaking a habit is very hard for me to do.

Several years ago she and I started what I refer to as our Sundays.
This began innocently enough with me being bored.
One afternoon as on a lovely spring day she called me up wanting to see if she could come over and hang out for a little bit.
So she did, and we decided to have a cocktail in the sunshine. We ended up doing it again the following weekend, and the next, and the next.
It got to be where we would watch movies all afternoon or sit outside reading, having cocktails and usually some kind of fatty snack ( Devil Monster Luuuuvs my sister) that my sister would bring over.
(This, by the way, was around the time I began to gain weight back)

After a while what started off as an occasional thing turned into a regular event. It is now at the point , ( and has been for more than a year) where she assumes that Sunday is movie / cocktail /pig fest day, and on the occasion that I have actually tried to turn things around shes gotten miffed. Not angry but just trying to turn it back to what it was.

This is funny to me because she actually has been doing WW for a few months now and is actually having great results. Her pig fest days are limited to Sundays I guess. I know she drinks every day though. Shes a small girl to begin with though so her having 3 cocktails is like me having 6.

Anyway, Ive told her before that I want to cut back on the partying and all that and I always get met with this....attitude....I cant explain it exactly accept to say its like she saying "whatever! But I certainly don't think YOU need to worry about such things...now come have a drink with me!!"

Its like I just cant get away from it.

The rest of my peeps are OK about it, until they call or email me about what a lovely day it is outside and all that BS and.."oh wouldn't it be fun to go sit on a patio somewhere and have a few.." blah blah BLAH!!

Today its going to be 72 and Sunny. Chilly but lovely. What Id say would be a great patio day...

I don't have any experience in knowing what true alcoholism is but I sure would like to know if what I'm experiencing is just that, or if it really is the Devil Monster bad habit and that's all.

I did once know a guy that was a true alcoholic. he used to get up in the morning and drink before going to work because if he didn't he would get ill. Ive never even been in that ballpark before so I really have no idea if my problem is all about habit or if I have an addiction that I really need to be concerned about.

Food..booze.
The Devils Advocates.