The Betty Crocker Clinic

Well I think Ive come to the conclusion that I am an addict, or at least I cant stand denying myself things.
I went home last night and had one...ONE glass of red wine. It was so lovely outside, and I just wanted to read on my deck while sipping a glass of wine. So I did. Just one mind you, but that promise I made to myself just days ago is already out the window. What does that tell me?
Do I have a mental addiction to alcohol and food?

The irony is I'm not upset about this. I think Ive known this all along its just when you tell someone your addicted to food or alcohol they make assumptions about you.

I'm not a slobbering drunk, I just like to drink. As with food, I enjoy eating. It comforts me more than fills me up.
I wish I spent more time enjoying my life and less time worrying about the things that are wrong in it.

New goal:
Live, try and be as healthy as I can by having better choices with food and drinks.
Stop worrying what other people think.
Exercise more.

Is this a cop out?

I don't know who I'm writing this for since no one reads this purge but Anne, and that's even on a rare occasion. Shes too busy trotting around South America!! Good for you Anne!!

So do I get a pass for discovering something about myself? Or do I check into Rehab along with Britney Spears?
The funny thing is, just as I said yesterday, the minute I mentally deny myself something the more I instantly want it.
Like right now, I have no intention of going home and eating anything bad or drinking anything at all. Is that because I haven't restricted myself from doing so?

I can have it, so I don't want it. ( Ironically I'm this way with men too!)

Tomorrow is Friday, a typical night where I would be drinking but I already know I'm not going to be because I'm helping a friend cook for a baby shower the next day and I have to drive a long way at night to get home.
I had not even thought about it.
What does it mean if you have no withdrawal, no shakes, no sickness, no panic attacks, nothing that a card carrying "alkie" would have, yet you cant seem to stay away from it entirely for a long ( longer than 5 or so days) time?
I guess it means I have low willpower because again, I seem to have the same problem with food, and men...I ALWAYS want the ones I'm not supposed to have and get in BIG trouble for it!! If I can have it I don't want it.

Are we seeing a pattern here???

In any case I haven't noticed anyone checking into the Betty Crocker / You Choose Bad Boys Clinic.

they should have one of those....

So any opinions? Am I an addict? Or Do I just have a lack of self control coupled with a rebellious nature that bucks the rules when I'm denied something..
in the words of a famous "bunny boiler"...I WONT BE IGNORED DAN....!