Savor the flavor

What makes us successful or unsuccessful? Is it drive? Ambition? The way we were raised? Or is it simple luck?
In life I often think that no matter what we do as human beings we are who we are going to be from birth and the only thing we can do to make things better ( or at least different) is learn to appreciate what we have instead of trying to change things. Theres nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself of course, and when you do something that makes you proud or mentally satisfied you feel accomplished and well...different, but we never really change.
That could be the truth, it could also be pure laziness. Change is a hard thing to make happen, which is also a reason I think sometimes we are who we are meant to be, and I happen to be a lazy fat slob! HA!
At least that's what I think many people who don't know me think I am.
I am also a bright, funny, sensitive woman who loves to do things for and with her friends and family. I wish there was a way to give the world those rose colored glasses if for no other reason to see each other as we really are. Good or bad.

I don't know what my purpose on earth is yet, and as I slide into my 37th birthday in the next few weeks I'm left thinking, If I don't know by now, will I ever know?

Life has been patiently waiting for me to figure it out it seems.

I seem to sit back and watch my life rush by me year by year. Each birthday promising myself the next I will be thinner, in a different place, more successful.

Then the next birthday comes, and the next, and but for the exception of a couple of birthdays in my long years I have never seen much change, or been able to hold on to the changes I have so painstakingly suffered to make.
There is some change of course. Age, oh my yes..... Lines grow deeper, places that although always fat ( thus saggy in general) were a bit perkier, and seem to have moved a bit further south, and my future seems dim...well not dim, but not the shining star it once could have been had I the vision to have seen in 20 years ago.

At least I have a future though, and I guess if it never gets any brighter for me, its not so bad as it is.
Who was it that said few of us are destined for greatness, the rest of us are just taking up space.
Well something like that...