Disiater strikes

Last week was a total washout.
I didn't work out all week, ate horribly and went out drinking with friends twice! The weekend wasn't much better, although I did eat better.

I guess I could kick myself in the ass for this but instead I am picking back up where I left off. Starting over seems to be a constant thing for me. I guess I'm a little depressed about it. I want so badly to just be in control week after week. I felt so good the other week . Accomplished, proud. Today I feel tired and a little ill. Mondays are never good days for me.
This morning I packed my gym bag, as I did last week, but today I'm going.
I'm already tired but I'm going!
I will have to yell at myself I'm sure by this afternoon, but I'm going.
I'M GOING I'M GOING I'M GOING!!!

I try to think of what triggers me to misbehave sometimes and there seems to be no pattern to it.
I was feeling crappy last week after not hearing back from Juan, but was that it?
Or did I simply want to be bad?
Maybe there is no excuse for my disastrous behavior. Maybe I'm just really lazy at heart.

I'm already tired..but I'M GOING!!!