Itch

Every year at this time I get the vacation itch, although usually it is the week I'm leaving. This year its hit me a week early. Ive got 9 days ( including today) until I'm on the road to the beach and I'm already antsy and dont want to do anything.
I'm not concentrating at work, and I'm not sticking to any kind of exercise plan.
Ive been OK with eating for the most part, so I'm again wobbling at this cusp that Ive been sitting at for a year, but I just don't care right now.
OK that's not entirely true, I always care, and I really did want to be about 12 lbs lighter than I am right now by next Friday, and I probably could make that happen if I busted my ass, but every day when I go home I just look at the treadmill and sigh...then I pass it up.

Ironically last year I did work out at the beach, and I plan on dong it this year as well, however I realize it would be easier if I started NOW.

OK ok, I'm going to make a promise to myself to get on the treadmill when I get home, and to do it every day for the next 9 days until I leave.

Honestly, if I can pull that off it will be a miracle. I haven't worked out 9 days in a row in years. Hell I haven't made it 6 days in a row in years. 5 is really pushing it!

I CAN DO IT! I KNOW I CAN!!

Its not about being incapable of doing it of course, it all in the head. I wish hypnosis worked.

***sigh***

OK well I'll check back in tomorrow about that.

On another note, Juan is back in the picture...sort of. Hes been texting me again, and last Sunday we made a "date"..sort of...
Hes supposed to come over to hang out Friday night. Cook out, have drinks..blah blah blah...
If it happens..( I say if because I'm so thinking hes going to cancel) I'm going to be very happy because after all these years of us toying back and forth with each other ( among other things) this will be the first time we have met up on purpose, just the two of us.

The crazy thing is I'm so nervous!!! I mean this is a guy Ive known..*ahem* WELL...for probably at least 9 years now.
Now, its true, the time we have spent together has always involved large amounts of alcohol and very little chatting, so I actually don't know a whole lot about him. Not as much as you would think anyway.
And I'm pretty sure that he knows next to nothing about me.
Years ago he wanted to officially date me, he even said so just like that, but it was bad timing. ( I was in love with the Muffin at the time)
so Ive always wondered if I missed out on something with him. This time last year was when we began to talk again for the first time in a few years, and really, this past year with him has not gone as Id have liked. Very on and off...much more off than on.
I hope to be able to get past that starting Friday. I guess we will both figure that out pretty fast. If we have no more interest in each other than gettin' our freak on, I'm pretty sure we'll know in the first 30 minutes of hangin' out.
My hope is that after all this time I can be myself. Totally me. Funny and silly, and comfortable with him. We'll see.