Sticking your foot in it

Honesty. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? We all have people in our lives that will preach that honesty is the best policy.
I would have to include myself in that group because
A) I'm a terrible liar
B) When Ive lied in the past it ALWAYS comes back to bite me in a dimpled chubby ass!

Sometimes however, when you know something that could change another persons life if you tell them, you keep your mouth shut because
A) you don't want to be responsible for forcing that chance upon them
B) you are following the "rules" of your other friends that also have this same information but have chosen to follow the old Its None of My Business thing.

I guess I'm different because I happen to think my friends and families lives ARE my business. If I care about another human being and I know something about their lives that I feel like they would absolutely WANT to know, I'm going to eventually tell them weather its the popular thing to do or not.
This telling of secrets usually pops out after the consumption of lots of alcohol and more than likely a few tearful moments during which I make my Drunken Confession.

I'm known for the Drunken Confessions in my group of people, but I really put my foot in it Saturday night.
Our little group of people is a tight knit bunch and everyone pretty much knows whats going on with everyone else even if you don't want them to.
For a while now theres been an ugly secret among my group, and up until Saturday/Sunday morning it had been held tight by everyone.....until I came along!!
Here's the deal:
about a year ago ( or possibly more) I was made aware of an indiscretion that occurred between a very well known woman and the boyfriend of a woman that I knew...but not that well.
At the time when I found out, I wondered who among the friends of this girl who had been cheated on was going to tell her the grim truth about her boyfriend. Apparently no one was. Why? I wanted to know very much why no one intend to let this girl know that her man had strayed. In my world I thought..Id want to know...most people WOULD want to know, so how are these people really her friends if they wont tell her something so important?

I didn't tell her because I was not close to her at all. I saw her at parties and that was all, until the wee hours of Sunday morning after a night of heavy drinking with said girl.

The girl in question is going through a very hard time right now, and was confiding in me that she felt terrible for putting her dear sweet boyfriend through all her crap. After hearing this for a while I guess I just blew, because I felt suddenly that it was my responsibility to tell her that hes not the guy she thinks he is.
Somewhere in my drunken logic I thought this knowledge would help her....why I don't know.
So its out there now and I'm already getting the fall out from the friends. Disappointment seems to be the biggest thing. Disappointment in me for not keeping my mouth shut.

I ask you, where was the disappointment in the guy, and the woman he screwed around with? Apparently I'm the bad person in this scenario, and frankly I just don't get that.

Yes, I feel bad for spilling the beans but not because I don't think she should know. I feel bad because shes already going through a hard time and I feel like this is just the wrong time to tell her something that huge. When would be a good time though? I guess it SHOULD have been when the incident happened.
I tell you, if I found out something like that a year or more later, and knew my CLOSE friends all knew about it and never told me Id be really upset.

Did I do the right thing? Or should I have let her go on thinking he was a terrific guy and she was just this sapp that was such a burden on his kind shoulders?

Sometime life is such BS.
Your damned if you do and Damned if you don't.

This whole thing brings up feelings Ive had for a long time now about my friends. Not all of them are included in this but Id have to say most in some way are. It seems like every thing I say or do that spouts of independent thinking or action is questioned, or criticized. Its like if I don't go along with the majority opinion I get my ass chewed up.
Why don't I get to think and act the way I want to and they can? Who makes certain people in a group the be all end all word for authority?

Several years ago I was in a situation where I was the other woman and several people knew about what was going on and eventually someone spilled the beans to the wife. I caught hell ( which I absolutely SHOULD have) and he got some heat but not nearly like I did. Ironically one of the people who gave me this hell is the very woman in question in this new love triangle!
Crazy.
Why did my group condemn me for what I did but still embrace these 2 people and act like nothing has happened?
That feels like a big fat lie to me and I hate being a part of it.
I guess I'm not a part of it anymore.
I don't know whats going to happen now. Weather they will stay together, weather the girlfriend will begin a line of questioning with her other friends and if so, weather they will deny knowledge or confess they knew all along.
I can guess that at some point I will be confronted with this mess by him, or the woman he screwed around with and I'm sure that will NOT be pretty.
Should I have kept my mouth shut just because its easier to do that?
Would that make me a better friend?
I don't know but I'm sick of being the scapegoat for everyone. I feel like saying FU to everyone and just living a life alone, without friends at all. After all, if your friends wont be honest with you how close can you really be? Are they really your friends?

This was a strange weekend indeed. I feel like Ive been trampled and I'm scared to go out in public for fear the wolves are already circling, but in my heart I know I did the right thing.

I guess sometimes being right is always going to be wrong in some peoples eyes.

On another note I did not work out all weekend, or this morning. I also ate terribly Sunday. I was still feeling bad from the big night, but I will get back on track tomorrow.
I'm trying to just keep going even when I fall off the pony. I think that's more important than being always on the ball. As long as I keep trying I haven't failed.