Dumps

For whatever reason I am in dumpsville. I cant manage to stick to any kind of diet...life program..whatever....(just give me a Snickers and shut up!)
Although I have not gained back much ( ..2 lbs..2 lousy stinking pounds....)
I feel awful. I just feel like I need help and I have no idea where to turn.
I ate a chicken sandwich for breakfast this morning ...which was supposed to be my lunch...after I ate my actual breakfast..and I'm still hungry. Or wait..not HUNGRY but not satisfied.
Every Thursday i begin again . I weigh, I start over for the week on my points determined to keep track of every one all weekend, and I don't do it. I don't exercise. My gym equipment has an inch of dust on it. I could grow potatoes in there...(mmmmmmm with bacon and cheeeese...)
Shut up!!*mental slap*
I say these things but i have not had a Snickers bar in years. I haven't had a potato with bacon and cheese in years. I have had things recently I shouldn't have had, but its mostly martinis and cheese and olives.
Oh screw it..I don't know why I'm even writing this. For me? i might as well write a private diary because no one ever reads this shit anyway.
FUCK EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!
I'm out.