Mondays are not cool.....

Poor "Monday"...it really gets the short end of the stick. No one looks forward to it and usually everyone is glad when its behind us for another week.
I, however, am trying to gain a new attitude about it .
Most of the time I don't plan any activities for Mondays because I'm always tired..like I am right now..but today I packed my gym bag and intend to go after work. This will be quite an accomplishment for me I think.

Monday should be a fresh start..kind of like New Years Eve but on a weekly basis.
I realized yesterday that I really am starting to make some very positive changes in my life. More than merely thinking of it or talking about it I'm DOING IT!
It was in my head even over the weekend when I was whooping it up and not exercising I still maintained the mindset that Monday would be a fresh start of exercise and healthy eating, and NO drinking until the weekend.

Drinking...hmmm. This is a sore spot in my family right now. My folks are convinced my sister is an alcoholic and that shes telling everyone lies about what shes doing with her life. Money issues, other things I dare not write about too.
Watching her go through this actually makes me check myself even more. Ive always been aware that I drink too much and off and on too often, but Ive never hid it or lied about it.
Does that make me a "functional alcoholic"?
My sister is functional. She drinks pretty much every night but still manages to get up for work in the morning. Keeps the house clean, pays the bills and takes care of her household which consists of one husband (who himself is a large child) and about 15 animals.
Do I worry about her? Yes I guess I do.Mostly because she has always had this thing about lying. She glosses over the harsh truths about her life in order to create a world that just doesn't exist.
Shes gotten better about it over the years, ( or at least I thought she had until recently) because I always bust her chops when I catch her in a lie, but it doesn't seem that she will ever be living in total reality. Shes not crazy, shes......I don't know what she is other than my sister, and I love her and I worry for her.

I think being aware of a problem, voicing it and taking steps to keep yourself in check is at least better than ignoring it.
I have an addictive personality and I'm very aware that when I like a thing I usually go at it like theres nothing else in the world....especially if its something fun and unhealthy!
For many years now Ive worried about my frequent and excessive alcohol consumption. I go through phases of being unhappy with my life and that is of course when it gets worse but honestly a lot of my bad habits with drinking have been acquired in the past few years while hanging out with my sister.
When I tell her I'm taking a break from the booze she kind of acts like shes offended. I used to feel bad about that but I don't anymore. I realize what she wants is a partner in crime so she wont feel bad about it.
In that sense I'm now being thrown under the bus as a scapegoat for her behavior of late, which has nothing to do with me at all.
Shes off doing things I have nothing to do with and now that the shite is hitting the fan shes got me all dragged into it.
She knows that I cant and wont lie for her to my parents or her husband ( as much as I cant stand him) because that just wouldn't be right.
The parents are involved now though which actually might be the best thing for them. get it all out..no more secrets and lies.
I never thought Id hear myself say this but I really hope they can work it out. Her husband was not always the pain in the rear he is now. Hes changed over the years into a petty selfish old man. Maybe its because shes doing something I'm unaware of? Maybe I'm being selfish by not considering the possibility that shes been lying to me about it all these years.

Oh the drama!! When I look at this happening to them, and last year my other sisters divorce, I think to myself..nope...never getting married...don't want to even LIVE with a man. But who knows.....
Wouldn't it be the funniest ( strange funny..not ha ha funny)thing in the world if I was the one in the end that found my true love and lived happily ever after?

Life!
07