Mondays

Have I said it before? Mondays stink?
I'm sure I have.
I have to go to the dentist today. Nice squeaky clean teeth!! I actually don't mind going to the dentist. I never have problems there and I like the feeling of clean teeth.
Orally fixated...yep, that's me.
That explains why I cant stop putting things in my mouth!!
So I did OK last week. I went to the gym 3 days ( Tuesday, Thursday and Friday) and felt great about it.
This week I'm going for 4 days.
I haven't made 4 days yet so this will be a first.
I already feel like I'm going to do it!
Last week on Thursday I jumped a huge hurdle for me. I entered the sacred weight training zone.
This is the area in the gym where the men hang out, and where 2 of my favorite upper body exercises are done. The free weight butterfly and the free weight over the head thingy that makes your chest and triceps scream with pain. ...yes..I love that!
I had not ventured back into that scared land as yet until last week. I was , and still am, intimidated by the thought of those men...a couple of them quite attractive...looking at me and wondering what the hell I'm doing in THEIR space.
I know..I'm neurotic. I'm sure they don't care, but I'm also sure when I'm laying sprawled out on a weight bench, lolling around like a nice plump walrus sunning itself on a rock, that someone will look.

And Lo! They will look and they will see! See the fat! Feel the fat! Embrace the FAT!!
And I will pick up those weights and pump them with furious fever!
And I will smote my ruin upon them!!!
yeah yeah yeah...

Well, I'm going to have to get over it.
This week will be the first week that I'm going to have to go at a "normal" time for me. In the past weeks Ive been skipping out of work a little early to get there before the rush..most of the time desperately hoping to get in and out before the hottie gets there.
But this week I have decided that I must face the music and go at a normal time. This means more people, more men, possibly even the hottie himself, will be pumping iron right beside me. Me, the walrus...its OK though. I have to get past what they may be thinking because I refuse to let that be my excuse for NOT doing it.
I will not let fear control me. I will rise to the challenge and meet it with a toothy grin! ( a super CLEAN toothy grin after today!)

I'm pretty proud of myself right now.
Next month, however, I'm going to start tackling the food issue. I have stayed away from that so far for the most part. One step at a time...
I know in my heart though I'm going to have to make some serious commitments to changing my diet and drinking habits.
Well, lets talk about that after vacation....