Breaking the Spell

I finally broke the dry spell.
Quite a story.
Its a guy named Juan that I've known for many years and he and I have "history" if you know what I mean. Also, we haven't seen each other in about 3 years and I've gained a lot of weight since we...ya know..."hung out"
Well anyway, I saw him on MySpace and for the last 6 months I've been debating on weather to contact him but I finally did.
He was excited to hear from me and and we have been talking and texting a bunch ( even over vacation ) for a few weeks now. Finally on Saturday we met out at Trackside, ( ironically the sight of our first meeting) and it was on from the minute I walked in the door. I was hesitant to believe he was flirting with me but Andy said to me at one point when Juan had gone to the bathroom that he was all over me! I was thrilled of course because not only had I been CRAZY nervous about meeting him again but I really wanted to blow the dust off Ye Ole Box, and from what I remembered ...the boy was more than qualified!!
So the whole night went great. He and my friend Jennifer and her boyfriend ( both of whom I had come out with to begin with) all came back to my house and Juan and I retired to my room where all hell broke loose...no kidding...it was great!
I mean there were some parts that could have been better because it was after all "drunk shaggin" but overall it was pretty great.

Of course the next day I was giddy and wanted to hang out or do something. Jennifer and Jonathan ( her boy) were going to brunch so I asked Juan to come with and he did, but he seemed distant and didn't say much. I know he was horrifically hung over which might have been the cause, but he barely gave me a hug goodbye and just said..I call ya...

The whole thing was so great and I really enjoyed it.
I was on a mental high from it all day yesterday until last night when reality began to creep in and I realized I'll probably never talk to him again.
He's going out of town today until Saturday for a vacation so we'll see. I wouldn't necessarily expect him to text me like I did to him while I was away, but I would think he would if he really liked me.

I of course think he woke up and when sober realized how much weight I've gained and was mortified. He is a super nice guy though and has always been great to me so I wouldn't expect him to be a jerk, which he wasn't, I just wish I could have more of course.

Its been a long time since I've been with anyone that I was actually really interested in and I am afraid my flab has done me in and it pisses me off at MYSELF.
So I'm going to try very hard to restart my routine of working out and better eating. I'm also going to cut most meat out of my diet, and stick to limited bread/starches.

Beer will be a problem but I think if I keep not drinking Monday -Thursday that will help.
I'm pissed that I might have lost out on a great guy because I couldn't keep the pizza out of my pie hole for the last 4 years.

I know I can do it. I KNOW I CAN DO IT!!!