July...already!

Its July, and that means that more than half the year has gone by already.


It never ceases to amaze me just how fast time really does go by.


I was thinking about that yesterday afternoon as I sat on my comfy couch contemplating when I should pack it in for an early nights rest.


The clock gave me 3 hours until my allotted self imposed bed time, and I thought, you know, I will do this and that and those 3 hours will be gone in a blink.


The same can not , unfortunately, be said about time at work.


Its not that I hate my job by any means. I'm just sort of indifferent about it.


Don't get me wrong, in this economy I'm VERY grateful to have it, and I thank God for it constantly. I guess I just wish there was more to it.


Lets face it, mindless paper pushing was not what I signed up for, and maybe this will develop into more later, but right now its a great big YAWN!


Like where is the photography part going to come in to play? Will I get my own projects? I mean I was hired as a Project Coordinator with the guise of also handling the photography end of things on occasion. None of this has come into play thus far.


OK ok, yes its only been 3 1/2 months. I'm still getting my feet wet in many areas.





I'm riding with it. What else can I do?





I did FINALLY get conformation ...well sort of... today that my requested vacation time will be OK. I was beginning to worry about it seeing as how I gave it to big boss man about 6 weeks ago.





I have to say, I'm looking forward to vacation this year with a fervor that I don't think Ive had yet. I mean yes I always like the beach, the time off, the time with my family. But for some reason this year it seems even more necessary.





I have a strange feeling that this might be our last year together vacationing as a family.





Elise ( sister #2) is becoming more and more irritated with the system that we have as far as who sleeps where and blah blah blah. Shes pissed that she pays as much as my parents do (which everyone does), and never gets the master bedroom. I don't know why this bothers her, but it does.


Shes pissed about a lot of things when it comes to our parents it seems. Mostly because she thinks they don't really do things for her like they do for me or my sister #1, Beth.





I cant explain why there is a difference in this but it is true to an extent. I know their love for us is all equal but she seems very resentful of the "help" mom and dad have given me and Beth.

On that note, shes really never asks for help either, and she is financially MUCH better off than either of us are. Even mental support is hard for her to ask for.

I'm not sure, but it seems like she really needs to sit down with them and just get some things off her chest.
She got some of it off her chest on me last Thursday, and ever since then Ive been trying to think of a real response to the things she said to me. This is taking some time because after mulling it over a good deal, I think shes wrong to think the way she does, and its really bothering me.



So anyway, with this being my thought, among others like the fact that my mom is now retired and my dad is really worried about paying off their debt before he drops dead, I'm guessing that this really might be the last one.



I guess we'll find out if the house doesn't get booked when were down there.

It would really be a shame if that happens, but to be honest I cant afford it. I never could. My contribution this year will simply be the fact that I actually get paid for vacation time, but they ( mom & dad) are still footing my portion on the bill for the house and the food and everything else.

I might take a credit card with me and try and pay for my meals, but I'm also really trying to get out of debt myself.

We'll see. It just seems like a doomed tradition right now. Maybe she will feel differently when she has someone to go with her again. Some of that frustration I was being hit with I'm sure is her current personal situation.

I'm just not worried about it anymore for myself. I'm not saying NO I'll never...I'm just saying Its OK if I don't.

Meanwhile, I was a little bad last week toward the end. I didn't get my 4 -5 days in for the first time in months and I feel wrecked about it. Just have to pick up and start over again. Keep on Swimming as Dori would say.