The rest of the world was still in chaos today, but I managed to fine some peace today. I got up very early and did an hour on the elliptical which felt great!
I also had a big shoot, which I got into so much I literally forgot about the Pandemic for a little while and all the rest of the mess.
It came back of course, but at least I had a small break.
In bed now and training tomorrow. I hope I have a good weekend with my love. We both need it.
The biggest obstacle at the moment other than the COVID crap is that it’s summer, and I want to be at the pool, and he doesn’t.
This was a big issue last year. I thought when he came back around in October this was something he was going to overcome, but it has not happened yet, and so I’m just going to be going alone again I guess.
What sucks is that all I want...all I can really do even, for my birthday this year would be to have a relaxing pool weekend, and I can’t do that because he won’t want to do it. Oh I think he’d come. He did on memorial weekend (which I was so happy about!), but he sat out in the blazing heat in jeans.
I’ve been there, I know what it feels like to pretend you are not roasting because you don’t want to get into a pair of shorts or a bathing suit. I’m trying not to push him, because that doesn’t work. It only make people feel pressure and that’s the last thing he needs.
So I guess I’ll either spend my birthday alone at the pool, or at home doing nothing with him.
I just want something good. Please dear God, just please.
Going to bed...or trying to...dicks behind me are shooting off fireworks and they are really loud.
Hate my neighborhood and am so ready to get the fuck out of here.
I’ll be 50 a week from tomorrow. Fuuuuck....
Goodnight.
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